“The way we speak to ourselves matters.”

— Carl Rogers

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Most people carry on a quiet conversation with themselves throughout the day. It might sound like commentary, questions, reminders, or criticism. This ongoing inner dialogue is often referred to as the inner monologue. For some, it is supportive and grounding. For others, it can feel harsh, relentless, or exhausting.

Many people come to therapy not because of a single event, but because of how they experience themselves internally. They may notice a constant stream of self doubt, overthinking, or self criticism that affects how they feel, relate to others, and move through daily life.

Understanding the inner monologue is not about silencing thoughts or forcing positivity. It is about becoming aware of how you speak to yourself and where that voice may have come from.

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What is the inner monologue

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The inner monologue is the internal voice that accompanies thoughts, decisions, reactions, and emotions. It shapes how we interpret experiences and how we respond to challenges. For some people, this voice is encouraging or reflective. For others, it can be demanding, anxious, or unforgiving.

This inner dialogue often develops early in life. It can be influenced by relationships, childhood experiences, cultural expectations, and moments where we learned something about ourselves through how others responded to us. Over time, these experiences can become internalised, forming a familiar way of speaking to ourselves.

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When the inner voice becomes difficult

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A critical or overwhelming inner monologue can affect emotional wellbeing in subtle but powerful ways. People may find themselves replaying conversations, anticipating problems, or judging their reactions long after situations have passed. This can lead to anxiety, low self esteem, emotional fatigue, or a sense of being stuck.

In relationships, the inner monologue can shape how we interpret others’ behaviour. A self critical inner voice may lead someone to assume blame, rejection, or failure even when there is no clear evidence. Over time, this can impact confidence, intimacy, and communication.

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Listening with curiosity rather than judgement

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Therapeutic work around the inner monologue is not about trying to control thoughts or replace them with more acceptable ones. Instead, it involves slowing down and becoming curious about what the inner voice is saying, when it appears, and how it affects you.

Often, the inner monologue is trying to protect in some way, even if its methods feel unhelpful. By understanding its role and origins, it becomes possible to respond with greater compassion rather than frustration or shame.

Therapy as a space for understanding

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At The Healing Hub Mental Wellness, therapy offers a space to explore the inner monologue with care and attention. This includes noticing patterns, understanding emotional responses, and reflecting on how past experiences may still be shaping present reactions.

This work does not aim to change who you are. It focuses on understanding how you relate to yourself and creating room for a more balanced and supportive inner dialogue to develop naturally over time.

Moving forward with awareness

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Becoming aware of the inner monologue can be a meaningful step toward improved emotional wellbeing. It can help reduce reactivity, soften self criticism, and support healthier relationships with both yourself and others.

If you notice that your inner voice feels harsh, overwhelming, or difficult to escape, therapy can offer support in understanding and working with it in a way that feels steady and contained.

At The Healing Hub Mental Wellness, we offer psychologically informed therapy in a calm, reflective setting in Canary Wharf, London, as well as online. Our work supports insight, understanding, and meaningful change at a pace that feels grounded and supportive.

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